The courage to be dislike is a conversation between a young man and a philosopher, the young man plays devils advocate to the Adler psychology. It’s really digestible in this conversation format.

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RATING: 3.5/5

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KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• The courage to be happy also includes the courage to be disliked. When you have gained that courage, your interpersonal relationships will all at once change into things of lightness.

• Your life is not something that someone gives you, but something you choose yourself, and you are the one who decides how you live.

• The important thing is not what one is born with but what use one makes of that equipment.

• We are not determined by our experiences, but the meaning we give them is self-determining.

• No matter what has occurred in your life up to this point, it should have no bearing at all on how you live from now on.

• You living in the here and now, are the one who determines your own life.

• No experience is in itself a cause of our success or failure. We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences—the so-called trauma—but instead we make out of them whatever suits our purposes.

• People cannot simply forget the past, and neither can they become free from it.

• When you enter into interpersonal relationships, it is inevitable that to a greater or lesser extent you will get hurt, and you will hurt someone, too. Adler says, “To get rid of one’s problems, all one can do is live in the universe all alone.” But one can’t do such a thing.

• The pursuit of superiority and the feeling of inferiority are not diseases but stimulants to normal, healthy striving and growth. If it is not used in the wrong way, the feeling of inferiority, too, can promote striving and growth.

• A healthy feeling of inferiority is not something that comes from comparing oneself to others; it comes from one’s comparison with one’s ideal self.

• There are two objectives for behavior: to be self-reliant and to live in harmony with society.

• Suppose one experiences a major natural disaster, and one’s response is to look back at the past in an etiological manner and say, “What could have caused such a thing to happen?” How meaningful would that be? An experience of hardship should be an opportunity to look ahead and think, What can I do from now on?

• If I change, the world will change. No one else will change the world for me . . .