The Lost Art Of Good Conversation By Sakyong Mipham

Told from a mostly spiritual standpoint, The Lost Art of Conversation demonstrates how mindful communication can impact areas of your life while elevating others around you.


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KEY TAKEAWAYS:

• The Latin root conversatio means “living with; to keep company with, or having dealings with others.” Thus we could regard conversation as part of the nature of existence. Language is like a river throughout society, the flow of human connectivity. Through conversation we create an endless and fascinating human exchange.

• Next time you have a conversation, slow down and pay attention to the words that come out of your mouth.

• In a conversation, sometimes all varieties of thoughts and emotions coming to your mind and you’re simply overwhelmed. In such a case, the best practice is to close your mouth and look at your thoughts. You are creating those emotions yourself, and often they’re coloring your mind so strongly that you’re projecting them onto the other person.

• Not sure what to say? Silence can be the most potent language.

• If you’re unable to restrain yourself, and you feel that you need to blurt out something, try to stop and reflect. Is it necessary? Is it kind? Am I simply unable to control myself? In conversation we must practice temperance, the ability to think before we speak.

• “How you act when you’re alone affects everything about the rest of your life.”

• The problem with complaining is that it always leads to another complaint. It’s endless; it fosters a continual sense of dissatisfaction. In Buddhism this is called samsara. Samsara always has to have the last word: we need one more thing to make us happy. One thing leads to the next, perpetuated by our desire to have a final satisfaction in the next experience.

• “A mind that is truly patient does not give rise to anger.” -Bodhisattva Shantideva

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